Paddle

At my school, when a kid breaks a rule, they get a piece of paper called a minor or an office discipline referral.

I believe these punishments to be insufficient. You see, humans, especially lately, have been REALLY stupid. Chopping down trees, killing animals, pollution, and the whole addiction to Apple products and junk. We are so arrogant in thinking that we are superior to animals because we're smarter. Well, that is really our ONLY advantage (which can get us pretty far, but a man wouldn't beat a tiger in a fight) and it is slipping drastically. Anyway, a piece of paper isn't going to make the idiots of today stop acting up. So I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to bring the paddle back to school (as well as the dunce cap). Giving the students a spanking would really make them think twice before breaking another rule. Not only would it hurt them, but the humiliation of laying across a teacher's knees and being swatted on the rump would be agonizing. Now some of us may be thinking, "But that's so cruel! That's child abuse! Why do you think they got rid of the paddle in the first place?" My answer is, in addition to being stupid, people are wimps. Everybody should just freaking SUCK IT UP. I mean, seriously! If you get a BRUISE it's considered child abuse. I believe that with a paddle in every classroom the behavior issues in school would lower dramatically.

Bring back the paddle! Who's with me? (comment below)